Cancer diagnosis

I've been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  Will I see this as an interruption in my interesting, busy Christian life?  Is there a possibility this is a divine intervention?  Will I get some inspiration to accomplish something for God before I die?

For years I have reconciled that I would not go through chemotherapy.  Too many people suffer through months, even years, of chemotherapy only to die a miserable death.  I determined long ago that it wasn't in my life's plan.  No way would I put my family through the ordeal of watching me be unable to eat, in constant pain, then medication that puts you out of your misery but gives you a totally don't care attitude!  Just who wants an interruption like that?  Not this lady, for sure.

Into my hospital room came a medical team--an oncologist, an infectious disease doctor, a hospitalist, a patient advocate, a social worker, my husband Hampton, our son David, and our daughter Sarah.  I had encouraged our daughter Jennifer not to travel until we knew more about what was happening.  WOW, what were all these people going to tell me?

I had undergone a miriad of  tests to determine what was the matter with me.  I felt terrible and was exhausted from days of testing.  "You have blood clots in your chest, liver lesions, and pancreatic cancer.  The survival rate for pancreatic cancer is 2%.

Immediately I began explaining I had no plans for chemotherapy.  I stated that I'd given this situation lots of prayer, thought, and discussion.   I was not going to undergo chemotherapy.  What don't you understand?  The oncologist asked to speak to my family outside my room.  He told them that he felt I had a good chance of surviving and that I should take the chance.   2% survival rate; good chance, right?

My family came back into my room and said they thought I should reconsider chemotherapy.  Obviously they weren't in favor of my speedy demise.  How could I be assured I'd quickly die they asked.  What if I just began lying around sick.  I agreed to pray and reconsider.

The next morning in came the oncologist.  Had I rethought my decision?  I replied I'd thought and prayed but had not made a decision.  I agreed to continue pondering my situation.